July 4, 2023

The GO Overseas Summit + Culture Shock in NYC

The GO Overseas Summit + Culture Shock in NYC

Interesting in an overseas lifestyle? Kristin will be hosting the online this July 10-11. Plus, Kristin and former Badass Digital Nomads podcast guest, May Ling Lai, sit down in New York City's Bryant Park to chat about the reverse culture shock they experience coming back to NYC from Europe.

Interested in an overseas lifestyle? Kristin will be hosting the International Living GO Overseas Summit online this July 10-11. Register to attend free here. 

 

Plus, Kristin and former Badass Digital Nomads podcast guest, May Ling Lai, sit down in New York City's Bryant Park to chat about the reverse culture shock they experience coming back to NYC from Europe. 

 

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See the show notes pages on BadassDigitalNomads.com or TravelingwithKristin.com/podcast  for time stamps, transcripts, and more resources from this episode.

 

 

Transcript

Sneak Peek:

 

Kristin:    00:00:00    Am I busy or do I just think I'm busy because I'm American?  

 

Speaker 1    00:00:04    A European would be like, that is not the way to live.  

 

Introduction: Welcome to Badass Digital Nomads, where we're pushing the boundaries of remote work and travel, all while staying grounded with a little bit of old school philosophy, self-development, and business advice from our guests.  

 

Kristin Wilson, Host:    00:00:28    Hey there, Kristin, from Traveling with Kristin here and welcome to episode 214 of Badass Digital Nomads. I hope you're having a great week this week. It has been a complete whirlwind for me. I flew from the UK to New York and back within I think five days and I'm just coping with some jet lag and lots of work and things going on. I actually forgot to send out the weekly newsletter on Friday, you guys, but I'll, it'll, it'll be back this week if you're not on my newsletter list. It is at travelingwithkristin.com/subscribe so you can join for weekly tidbits and insights and news from me. You know, I was thinking of doing a meetup in New York, but it was very last minute and I didn't have time to announce it on the podcast or in the newsletter, so I decided to postpone it. So I was polling the Badass Digital Nomads Facebook group and also on my YouTube community page.  

 

Kristin:    00:01:38    So if you did see that, that's what that was about. But I do wanna do some meetups later in the year. So keep your eyes and ears peeled and for everyone who RSVP'd, I think I replied to everyone letting you know that it was not happening. But I was in New York for my first DJ gig in New York City, so that was a lot of fun. And the way that I got this opportunity was through my traveling lifestyle. So that's why I wanted to share it with you around really a year ago, I would say it was last summer that I was finishing the, the book, uh, Digital Nomads for Dummies. I started thinking, you know what, <laugh> now that I'll have a little bit more free time, maybe I can start to travel again. And I had been living in Miami for two and a half years.  

 

Kristin:    00:02:30    And so that's kind of when the wheels in my head started turning. Fast forward from July, June or July to September, October, I gave up my apartment. I think the last day was October 15th, and about two days later I flew back to Europe landing in Amsterdam. And that first week in Amsterdam, while I was standing in line to go into a show that was part of the conference and the music events that I was at there, I met a former tech entrepreneur from New York who was in Amsterdam for the same conference. He is now a DJ and a music producer. His name is Secret Key and he retired from the tech industry. He sold his company and he started investing all of his time, like 40, 50, 60 hours a week in his passion, which was music. And I think he's in his fifties. I am not actually sure how old he is, but I was so inspired by his story and we became friends and then fast forward another six or eight months later, nine months later, and he invited me to play at his monthly event in New York. 

 

Kristin:    00:03:52    So to kind of bring everything together, when you have the idea to do something and then you act on it, serendipity or fate or synchronicities or whatever you want to call it, kind of kicks in and it fills in all of the blanks. And this is just one of many, many examples of things that have happened because I traveled and I'm sure that every time you go somewhere you have some sort of experience that was completely unplanned that either changes your life or it just gives you a great story, <laugh>. And so everything in between, it doesn't have to be something really huge. But I wanted to mention that to you because the whole reason that a year later I was in New York is because a year ago I was journaling in my morning pages that I had the desire to go back to Europe and I felt like I wanted this lifestyle again.  

 

Kristin:    00:04:50    And there were things that I just wanted to do over in Europe. And then boom, the first few days that I land, I meet this person, we become friends, and then now I am flying back to New York from Europe a year later to DJ there for the first time. So that's kind of the things that can happen when you put yourself out there. So if you need a little bit of extra Monday slash Tuesday motivation for you, there you go. But I have a way that you can take action on your dreams of living or working or traveling abroad. And that is that I will be hosting International Living's first ever Virtual Go Overseas Summit. So this is a virtual event on July 10th and 11th where you can hear from all different speakers, influencers, YouTubers, we've got world travelers, overseas retirees, digital nomads, second passport experts, online income mentors, investors and more.  

 

Kristin:    00:05:58    And I will be hosting this event, the Go Overseas Summit, and I'll also be giving the keynote there so you can attend for free. It's a two day event plus an extra bonus day where we, we'll be doing a live q and a and also a panel with some of our other speakers. So if you're interested about the opportunities that you can have, if you live or travel or move abroad, then this is a great way to get an overview of the different types of opportunities that are out there and hear directly from people that are living that experience. So I'm so pleased to be able to participate in this event. If you know Amelia and JP from their YouTube channel Embrace the Unconventional Life, they will be there, Alan and Leslie from, It'll Be Fun. They will be there. Brighton West from Almost Retired in Mexico, Josh and Kaylee from Expats Everywhere, so many amazing people and some of our badass Digital Nomads podcast guests, Grace Taylor from US taxes for Expats, Stephanie and Jillian from Our Freedom Years.  

 

Kristin:    00:07:15    And then also Vagabond Dan from Vagabond Buddha, that YouTube channel and lots of International Living experts as well. Jason Holland, Jessica Ramesh, Ronan McMahon, Jeff Opdyke, so many cool people. Chase Warrington, our friend from About Abroad podcast. So you can register to get a free ticket by using the link in the show notes and they'll send you all of the info on email. So again, that is on July 10th and 11th. Link in the show notes, free Virtual Summit so you can attend from anywhere in the world. Today's podcast that I'm sharing with you was recorded in Bryant Park in the middle of Manhattan with my friend May Ling, who has also been a previous guest on the podcast. So I'll link to her episodes in the show notes where she talked about speed reading, super cool skill to learn and it was great to see her there.  

 

Kristin:    00:08:17    And also the reason that I know May Ling and that we became friends is because both of us went on the Nomad Cruise back in 2018, which is also where I met Matt Bowles from the Maverick Show, who you've heard from on the podcast before. So all of these trips abroad and all of the experiences that you have, the people that you meet, all come together to create deeper connections and more experiences in your life. And so I have so much to thank the ability to travel for and that's why I'm here. That's why we have this podcast and that's why I wanna share these stories with you and these conversations. So I hope that you enjoy my chat with May Ling. Today we're talking about the reverse culture shock that we experience coming from abroad, especially Europe, back to New York. So I'm talking about coming from the UK, she's talking about coming back from Spain and from what I can tell from the YouTube comments, people have had a lot of similar thoughts and experiences as well.  

 

Kristin:    00:09:28    So I'll read a couple of those for you at the end of the show. This is the uncut version. So the extended version that is not on YouTube, you know, we gotta keep it short for YouTube. So enjoy today and we will see you on the flip side. And also a Happy 4th of July. You know, some of you might remember a few years ago that I published a video about renouncing your US citizenship, which was an interview with one of our listeners. And I publish every Sunday and I just happened to publish that video on the Sunday of the 4th of July. It was complete coincidence, totally unintentional. And so I'm feeling a little bit like that today because I'm publishing a podcast about reverse culture shock coming to the US on the 4th of July. So again, it's another coincidence, no harm done. But just wanted to put a disclaimer on this one because a couple years ago I actually removed the video from YouTube because I felt so bad I put it back up there.  

 

Kristin:    00:10:33    So I'll link to it in the show notes. There's one video and also a podcast on renouncing your citizenship. And then there's also my rebuttal to that, which is why I decided not to renounce my citizenship.

 

Podcast Interview:

 

Kristin: So you can kind of get both sides of the story there. So I've been in Europe for the past few months and I got back to the US a couple days ago here in New York and I was instantly hit with Culture Shock <laugh>, especially being here because I haven't been here since the pandemic. And everyone that I've talked to here has said that New York has changed a lot since then. Yeah, so I have my friend May Ling here and she lives in New York, but she's traveled as much as me. We've both been to 60 countries. And so I really wanted to get her perspective on the culture shocks or reverse culture shocks rather that I've been feeling since I got back. So welcome mailing.

 

May Ling:    00:11:26    Hey guys,  How are you doing?  

 

Kristin:    00:11:27    How long have you lived in New York?  

 

May Ling:    00:11:29    Oh my gosh, it's almost, I think it's almost 18 years now. It's crazy. Gosh, time passes so fast,  

 

Kristin:    00:11:36    It really does. Well, you look the same, so that's good. 

 

May Ling:    00:11:38    That's  key. You gotta keep it tight. <laugh>.  

 

Kristin:    00:11:40    I, So I have to say, when I fir- when I- as soon as I landed in New York at JFK, I get off the plane and I'm already getting pushed. Like people are in such a hurry. I think that was the first thing that I noticed is that people are in such a rush. And I'm like, oh yeah, right. America hustle culture, everyone's in a hurry. But it really stuck out to me this time because just before I got here, when I was boarding in Manchester, there was a guy behind me, a kind of an older gentleman, and he was um, having trouble walking. Mm. And I noticed that a young couple in front of me immediately stopped to help him. Yeah. They were showing him where the elevator was because you have to go downstairs to get to the plane. They have like a different type of jet bridge.  

 

Kristin:    00:12:26    Yeah. And um, people stepped to help and then other people in line were like, oh, well if you can get down the stairs, we'll carry your bags down the stairs. And no one was in a hurry. And it was just so, it was just so nice and it was such a good example of the way that people treat each other, especially in Northern England. And then as soon as I get here, this guy's like pushing me out of the way to get to the global entry line, which isn't even a line. And then it was like instant karma because as soon as he got to global entry, he got routed to the regular immigration line. And so I went straight through after he pushed me aside and then he's cursing under his breath 'cause he had to go stand in another line to get through. So I guess it's just like, wow, boom. Like yeah, everyone's in a hurry. Do you experience that when you come back from abroad and then do you get used to it when you're here on a day-to-day basis?  

 

May Ling:    00:13:18    Okay, so it's a little bit of a different thing. 'cause New York is special. Yeah. We are very much in a rush. And you can almost see it from the plane. So <laugh>. So it doesn't, you know, it's kind of interesting that everybody's still relatively well behaved on the way in. I feel good about that 'cause you know, but as soon as you land back in New York, you have to become a New Yorker again. And it comes out in all kinds of ways. I will say, because we are probably the most pushy I, I'll give it to you. We're a little bit more aggressive than the rest of America. By law -- in the world.  

 

Kristin:    00:13:48    In the world <laugh>. Yeah.  

 

May Ling:    00:13:50    But we're also the nicest if something really does happen, I will say that.  

 

Kristin:    00:13:53    Yeah, yeah. New Yorkers do stick together. 

 

May Ling:    00:13:56    Yeah.  So I will say that it makes sense to me, but because oddly enough, if you pass five years, you become acculturated to New York. So it turns out that as soon as I land, I usually become a New Yorker almost immediately. And I know I've become a New Yorker. I've never thought about it because if you're not classically a New Yorker, it would, when you land it, it might be a bit jarring. That's fair. Well that's totally fair.  

 

Kristin:    00:14:20    Well that's the cool thing about New York though, because the next thing I noticed is that a side that there's American flags everywhere and it's like such great national pride here and such national spirit. It's such a diverse city and I really get that sense. It's almost like when I land Alicia Keys starts singing in my ears. <laugh>  

 

May Ling:    00:14:42    She's actually not that far. You know where, where she grew up, uh, from here. Yeah, yeah. It's only like maybe five or six blocks from here, you know, maybe 10 blocks from here.

 

Kristin:    00:14:49    So, so it's almost like when you land and you see I every, I guess the Mets were playing on the day that I landed, so everybody was going to the game and you just instantly feel like hashtag America. But then you also feel like the rest of the world is here as well. Yes. And it gives you that sense of you can do anything. Like you can be anything and you can do anything in New York and everyone is so different, but yet everybody accepts each other. Would you agree with that? And do you think that this is the epitome of the American dream?  

 

May Ling:    00:15:22    I think for a lot of people, New York is definitely an aspirational city and it's a very interesting one in that regard because it can be the most empowering and upsetting city at the same time. I obviously love it, I'm here, but I see people really either, you know, flounder or flourish. It's always really binary. Nobody just coasts in New York for better, for worse. <laugh>, you know, we are very international and we're very much so accepting of everything kind of goes like there's not a lot. It's not a judgmental city. If you walk around doing some crazy stuff, most New Yorkers will not even blink. They won't ignore you. They'll just be like, all right, fine, that's you doing you. As long as it doesn't impinge on me, we're good <laugh>.  

 

Kristin:    00:16:07    Yeah. But it almost gets to the point to where maybe people are not aloof, but people are just so in their own bubbles and so on a mission for whatever the day is bringing and they don't care what anyone else is doing. That. There's some things that I've seen that I think like other people should be concerned here and no one seems to care. But on that note, I've also noticed, you know, I mean there's a lot of homeless people here and it's something that um, it's everywhere in the world, but you just see it so much more here. I guess because we're in this in the center of Manhattan, is that something that you've seen increase in recent years or has it kind of always been the same?  

 

May Ling:    00:16:52    I would say that it's about the same, maybe slightly more. I would say during the height of Covid it was quite bad because what actually keeps some of that down is businesses being open and New York's really taken a hit, which it's recovered dramatically from, but during Covid we had a lot of storefronts closing. And so as a result there was no one to really care whether or not folks were sleeping in the streets or what have you. And so that then it really got bad. But as we've improved, um, on the real estate front, people have started to go into some of these shops more. It's not quite as bad. I would say this though, the homeless in New York have their own, let's call it racket, because definitely one of the more fun things you will see if you stay in New York for any meaningful amount of time is what we call homeless turf wars <laugh>. Because some of them legit have a corner and that's the corner that they work. And if someone else works it on their day, it can get kind of violent.  

 

Kristin:    00:17:48    I have seen some altercations and yeah, and I said definitely some good people watching. I was just having lunch in the window and I felt like the people walking by were watching me eat as much as I was watching them walk by. Totally. Um, 

 

May Ling:    00:18:03  but on, but  I would say this, if you are visiting and you happen to be eating a lot of takeout, definitely if there's a lot of food left, definitely package it and give it to one of the homeless people because a lot of them legitimately that's kind of how they survive <laugh>.  

 

Kristin:    00:18:17    Okay

 

May Ling:    00:18:18    I mean, You know, whatever you might feel about homeless, a lot of them really are in a really tough situation. So, um, that is,  

 

Kristin:    00:18:26    I've should done that for dinner last night. 

 

May Ling:    00:18:28  It's just something to consider if you can remember, because, um, that's a real thing. And in fact, sometimes there are some restaurants where folks that work on behalf of the homeless people, if they know it's a restaurant that people tend to have a lot of takeaway from, they will sit there and wait to see if you can, you know, um, offer some food to the, to the locals, so to speak.

 

Kristin:    00:18:49    Now I'm feeling very privileged about the food, but I do think that that's one of the other shocks that I experienced here, which I've talked about in other videos, uh, for the past few years about the food in different countries because we all eat multiple times per day if we're lucky, right? Yeah. So food is a big part of culture. It's how people in countries express themselves and their national identity, but it's also a big part of your daily life and just, you know, what you're gonna eat that day, who are you gonna share the meal with? And so I think about it a lot, but being here, and I just talked about this when I was in in the UK last week, of how good the food quality is at the taste of the food. Even if the food doesn't last as long, but then instantly coming back here, I'm like, okay, I'm gonna give it another chance 'cause I'm in New York, you know, when you're in this city with more restaurants than there are people practically, I mean, anything you could ever want is here.  

 

Kristin:    00:19:46    So that's one thing that's very characteristic of just America and definitely New York especially, is the abundance of food and of anything that you could ever want on one street corner, that's just overwhelming. But when you do select a place, I feel like a lot of times the food looks better than it actually tastes. And this even goes down to the ingredients that go into the food. Because I went across the street to Whole Foods yesterday I got organic cherries that I paid $8 a pound for. Oh my gosh. I got organic strawberries and they tasted like nothing. They had no flavor. I'm like, why am I spending so much money for organic produce that has no taste? One of the cherries I ate was flavorful, the rest just tasted like nothing. And so,  

 

Kristin:    00:20:32    I mean, why, like, do you notice that when you 

 

May Ling: Oh for sure

 

Kristin: - go abroad, that you enjoy the food more and then you come back here? And you're paying 10 times more for food and it just doesn't taste good. Like last night I went to dinner at this Japanese restaurant called Ootoya or Oo toya. Okay. And I, last time I went there was 2015 and I remembered it being really good and I went there for dinner last night and I was underwhelmed. I didn't even eat half of my food. And I was wondering if it's just, if it's the quality of the restaurant going down or maybe it's the quality of the, uh, supply of the ingredients that are going into the food that makes it not taste as good. What is your take on that?

 

May Ling:    00:21:13    Number one, you gotta remember this girl's very sophisticated with that palette - she's traveled everywhere. You guys should check out her episode on Japan

 

Kristin:    00:21:21    Okay. We'll link to

 

May Ling:    00:21:21    So that, that might be possibly part of it. It might be a little small part of it, but I would say that with New York, it's really restaurant by restaurant. I have to go with you to really understand what you experienced because oddly enough, the Japanese quality of food tends to remain a little bit higher. So I don't know what happened with respect to that. I would say you're right though in general there was, I think we use different breeds of, of fruits, meaning like, I guess there's different, especially with some of the vegetables, Europe uses one specific strand or breed or what have you. Like the strawberries in particular are always gonna taste better. All the berries will taste better overseas.

 

Kristin:    00:21:58     Oh  Yeah

 

May Ling:    00:21:59    That's the easiest one. Even if you completely have no palate, you'll taste the difference. And then chicken will taste very different be because we don't, we even the most organic of chicken is not gonna somehow, I don't know what we're doing on these farms, but it's just, or how we feed them or what, but somehow it just doesn't taste something--

 

Kristin:    00:22:16    It's not right. 

 

May Ling:    00:22:18    Yeah. But, uh, our beef is good. I still think American beef all day long, that would be the thing that you should get if you,  

 

Kristin:    00:22:24    I have been to some good steakhouses in the us but generally I am just dismayed by it's tough  

 

May Ling:    00:22:30    Vegetables and fruits are tough

 

Kristin:    00:22:30     by the produce, especially, I can't get over it. And then also the cost. The cost just like hits you right in the face as soon as you get off the plane. I paid $5 for a tiny coconut water when I got to the train station. And um, and then everything, I just as a general rule, everything costs $20 like breakfast --

 

May Ling:    00:22:51    That  might just be New York  

 

Kristin:    00:22:51    --or Salad,  

 

May Ling:    00:22:52    New York expensive. That's just New York. You should just take your wallet out and give your money. 

 

Kristin:    00:22:57    Just give  away.  

 

May Ling:    00:22:57    And that's what the city is <laugh>.

  

Kristin:    00:22:59    Um, have you found that the prices have gone up with inflation and since the pandemic or  

 

May Ling:    00:23:04    I mean that's definitely true all over the US. New York is in particularly expensive though. That, that's just, you know, the restaurants are trying to do it via either sizing down the portions or  

 

Kristin:    00:23:16    Or raising the prices or both. 

 

May Ling:    00:23:18  Or raising the prices. Both, yeah. Or both? It's usually both. Yeah. There's a few, oddly enough with New York insiders, there's always cheap eats that are unbelievably delicious and they manage to somehow make it work. I have no idea.

 

Kristin:    00:23:29    Ramen and Pizza

 

May Ling:    00:23:29    There's still 99 cent pizza in Manhattan. It's, it's delicious.  

 

Kristin:    00:23:33    I see it, I see it,

 

May Ling:    00:23:33    I, I'm not gonna lie, 

 

Kristin:    00:23:35    maybe  a hot dog because you get a hot dog for 99 cents.  

 

May Ling:    00:23:37    You gotta be really careful.   

 

Kristin:    00:23:38    I don't even eat those.

 

May Ling:    00:23:39    You know what they have, they have Korean dogs now and, and the Korean, the Korean and Japanese have done amazing things to the hot dog and that'll run you around $5 and is really, really delicious.  

 

Kristin:    00:23:49    I feel like I'm ruined for food trucks because my hotel happened to be right where they store a lot of those food carts and food trucks. And when I saw the carts like rumbling in at the end of the day and very haggard state, I was thinking, I don't know if I wanna eat any of the food that's been in there. And they were bringing them in still like full of food and I don't know if they're bringing that food back out the next day. I don't know what those regulations are there.  

 

May Ling:    00:24:15    Yeah, there's more than one type of food truck. So one of the tricks of Manhattan is definitely knowing the difference between the food trucks that are absolutely having to pass certain food grades, <laugh> and then the, the carts that you might have seen  

 

Kristin:    00:24:27    <laugh>. Yes,  

 

May Ling:    00:24:28    Yes. Difference. Big difference.  

 

Kristin:    00:24:31    Another thing I'm still adjusting to here, which it's taken me a couple days, is just the noise, general noise levels, which you're only gonna have in New York or in any big city really?  But here I forgot because I have lived, or I haven't lived here, but I spent a lot of time here. Yeah. I've lived in other big cities like Vancouver and places, and I remember now you always hear car horns and you always hear sirens going on. Or in the case of my hotel, you hear dump trucks outside at three in the morning. What is that about  

 

May Ling:    00:25:01    <laugh>? You know what I, New York is just not designed with the modern life in mind, <laugh>. But you are right though. I do. And I'd love to hear what you think about this, except in very specific situations, I would say no matter where you are in New York, it is gonna be louder than other cities. I can only remember one time that I happened to be in Spain and it just so happened that that was louder because I was like, oh yeah, in the downtown area of Seville, like right on top of where everybody's partying, but at the same time--

 

Kristin:    00:25:33   and there's --they don't have the double pane windows there or the insulation.  

 

May Ling:    00:25:38    But otherwise I do think, you know, spot for spot, it's gonna be louder in New York somehow.  

 

Kristin:    00:25:44    Yeah. Another thing that I noticed about the people, although the people are, are there's nice people everywhere. I've gotten so used to the talkative people in the UK and the small talk that I have experienced in Northern England especially that when I got back here, I'm now caught off guard that no one's talked to me since I got here. But it's not like people are mean and they don't wanna talk to you, it's just that everybody's busy. They're on a mission to do what they need to do for that day. And if they don't see a reason to talk to you, they're not going to. And also they don't wanna bother you. But that's something I've noticed just in the, the week that I've been here, is I've just noticed no one's conversing with me like they normally would. Yeah. Um, how is that for you?  

 

Kristin:    00:26:30    Like even yesterday I went to a, a DJ studio to practice for a couple hours and I felt like the guy who opened the door, he was, it was almost like the small talk was giving him anxiety. Like he was in such a hurry to get back to his inbox that he just wanted to open the door and leave. He was like, I don't know why I'm talking to you. Like here op- the door is open, go in. And um, and even when I was leaving as well, he was like, okay, you can see yourself out. And it just seems like, I guess everybody's in a hurry or how, what's your experience been with talking to strangers or people just making small talk with you, not trying to sell you something on the street? Of course.  

 

May Ling:    00:27:11    Okay. So this one's a fun one because us both being strangely enough, even though we did not meet in Florida, we were both Florida girls. Yeah. And the South Florida's still the south, believe it or not, <laugh>. Yeah. We are a chattier bunch. We are a nicer, friendlier chattier bunch. So, so even for me, New York does have, it's a very different culture than Florida as relates to small talk. That's true. You have to kind of pick your spots. So if you're in a, if you're in a bar, if you're having dinner, if there's like certain kind of situations you'll find New Yorkers are extremely chatty in ways that you, you know, you would be really surprised. Very direct, very chatty gonna tell you the truth. Even the way New Yorkers tend to communicate though is much more to the point. I will say that there's no rambling around the bush about the weather and stuff like that. That's not, that's that's not Okay. Yeah. It's not gonna apply. Um, I would say, let's see, what else?  

 

Kristin:    00:28:06    So if people are, if people are in a hurry going on the sidewalk, obviously they're not gonna wanna talk to you. Yeah. But maybe, you know, maybe out here in Bryant Park there's people relaxing, you get chatty, people relaxing. Yeah. We could probably go up and talk to people and just start, strike up a conversation. Yes. So it's probably based on the context,  

 

May Ling:    00:28:23    We're way more, but we are way more contextual than Europe. So you I totally agree with you. I think that's right. Yeah. Yeah. We're way more contextual and we're, and especially if someone's in motion on the street, if you stop someone who's walking on the street while they're walking, you've got a 50% shot of a fairly bad reaction.  

 

Kristin:    00:28:41    <laugh>. Yeah.  

 

May Ling:    00:28:41    Whereas I don't think that's true in Europe.  

 

Kristin:    00:28:43    You better have a legitimate reason. Yeah. For slowing someone down. True. I love that. Even in -- In Times Square they have signs, they're like, this is a walking sidewalk. Keep walking. No. Stopping for photos. <laugh>.  

 

May Ling:    00:28:56    Yeah.  

 

Kristin:    00:28:57    What are, what are some of the things that you've experienced as reverse culture shock when you come back from abroad? 

 

May Ling:    00:29:05  Hmm.  I would say the biggest thing is scheduling. Like, some people are hyper scheduled, especially in New York, people are very scheduled. It's hard to get on someone's schedule. And so I always, especially as a nomad, we kind of are a little bit more, I mean even, even the most scheduled nomad always bakes in a little time for fun <laugh>. So, you know, there's always a way to get on the schedule during those fun hours. And a lot of times I think because New York is such a city where folks oftentimes have poor work life balance, that one can be a little bit tougher. Yeah. You might need a lot more advanced notice or asking them to fit you in. What they're actually doing is recalculating a bunch of other stuff that they might be able to shift. So that's kind of an awkward thing. 'cause I can't imagine anyone in Europe, no matter how busy having that same thought process. As far as social time goes, you know,  

 

Kristin:    00:29:58    I feel like that that's something cultural that I carry with me when I go to other countries that people don't understand. And they all comment on how busy I am and I wonder sometimes, am I busy or do I just think I'm busy because I'm American?  

 

May Ling:    00:30:16    Yeah. That definitely is a difference for Americans because Europeans would never, whereas we're like, oh, we're so busy. Things are going so well in business, dah, dah, dah, dah. A European would be like, that is not the way to live <laugh>. Like, if they saw half of Americans in their busyness level, they'd be like, but this is not living What is wrong with you? Right. And so that always is a, is a shocker when I come back at first. Uh, because you can get very frustrated why all of a sudden this time thing, or you can say, okay, wait, now I know what my American friends are like. So this is what it is.  

 

Kristin:    00:30:48    <laugh>. Yeah. I mean, I'm guilty of that even here. We, we were trying to meet for the last few days and I couldn't fit you into my schedule. And now I'm headed to the airport <laugh>. So it is hard.

 

May Ling:    00:30:58    You're busy  

 

Kristin:    00:30:59  So it is a lot. It's a challenge. It's a work in progress. But, 

 

May Ling:    00:31:03  but It's cultural. It's cultural. 'cause you know, Americans that uh, tend to be very busy, are trying to live life to the fullest, and their thought process of living life to the fullest is doing all the things that are on their bucket list of things to do. Yeah. So it's just a different, it's a, it's a different, it's total, it's just a cultural difference.  

 

Kristin:    00:31:21    <laugh>, I mean, stereotypes exist for a reason, I guess. And it, this does kind of solidify that big difference between the, the work life balance and the quality of life and the pace of life between the US and Europe. And I guess there's these stereotypes with the US hustle culture and the European Joie de vivre that are there for a reason. And the longer that I travel and live abroad, the more I notice things like that. But overall, I, I do respect the, the hustle, but also the individuality and the freedom in the us. Although a lot of freedoms are becoming more restricted. That's a topic for another video. But being here in the heart of New York and Manhattan, it is a reminder that the US still has that possibility of the American dream. And people come here from all around the world to experience it. Uh, I like to have my American dream in other countries as well, <laugh>, but that's just me. But what do you guys think? What are some of the things that shock you about living in the US or when you travel to the US as a tourist, or when you come back as a US citizen from overseas? Let me know in the comments below, subscribe if you're new here. And thanks mailing for sharing your  experience with us today.

 

May Ling:    00:32:39    Absolutely. Come visit us in New York. We're not mean, I promise. <laugh>, we may be a little bit short when we talk, but we do appreciate you coming. <laugh>.

 

Kristin:    00:32:49  Yes. Tourism to New York.  

 

May Ling:    00:32:50    <laugh>,  

 

Kristin:    00:32:52    I hope that you enjoyed our conversation as kind of a follow up to the episode on reverse culture shock that I did a few weeks ago where I wasn't even thinking about this trip to New York, but it was kind of funny that I did that episode on reverse culture shock. And then here I am a few weeks later experiencing it in real life. But there's so many interesting comments over on YouTube. We got over 300 comments in the first day. So lots of good stuff over there. I definitely recommend that you check it out and hop over into the comments section and make your voice heard. One of the top rated comments is from Janice. She says, I'm with you, Kristin, give me slow European culture and great food any day over fast American culture and bad food that's making the healthcare industry. Number one, I survived New York City at 25 years old and never again.  

 

Kristin:    00:33:51    I hear you Janice. That's why I'm in Europe. I'm enjoying the slow pace of life. I'm enjoying the delicious food and I'm enjoying just being healthier. I don't think I would make it in New York. Jillian says, I'm from Manhattan originally, but have been in northern California for almost 40 years. Sounds like not much has changed. I don't miss New York at all. I remember coming back from a vacation in Scotland decades ago and feeling that culture shock then the noise, the pollution, and the hustle and bustle really struck me. Thanks for this video. I hear you Jillian. I cannot imagine going from peaceful Scotland over to New York, unless of course you're Scottish and you're going to New York for for holiday, for vacation. But uh, Luis also wrote on here, Luis or Louis, he says, I know that feeling. Same thing I experienced in Philadelphia upon my return from London.  

 

Kristin:    00:34:50    And Lu Chay says, same here. So lots of people feeling that for sure. Hanssen says, lived in New York for six years, it's America's hustle culture on steroids, loved living there, but got burnt out from the work culture and trying to keep up with the sky high rent. I moved to Chicago, AKA NYC lite. But finally after Covid, I decided to move out of the US entirely to become a digital nomad and move to Europe, most likely Spain for a higher quality of life, safety and overall peace of mind. Great choice. Hanssen, I definitely approve. I think you'll really enjoy your time in Spain. And I can say that it's pretty much the opposite of New York and Chicago. Lots of people here in the comments talked about how they used to live there, but now they've moved on to either other parts of the United States that are a bit more peaceful or over to Europe.  

 

Kristin:    00:35:47    But you could feel this even in other countries. Someone said, fascinated by how you felt on your return to New York. I feel the same way every time I go to London. So a lot of comparisons between New York and London in the comments. And I don't think that's a coincidence because people say that London is the New York of Europe, especially before Brexit. I guess the financial center of Europe is shifting around a bit now, but a lot of people were talking about that and just a lot of people saying that they are headed abroad for just a better lifestyle. I think sometimes you want to be in that hustle and bustle, but then there's other times in your life where it's just not important to you and you're over it. So if that's you, then make sure to check the show notes for our link to the Free Go Overseas Summit, which is happening July 10th and 11th.  

 

Kristin:    00:36:45    So for two days you can hear from lots of experts, travelers, and more specializing in living overseas and offshore lifestyle. And you can attend for free using the link in the show notes. But as I said in the podcast, there's still a lot to love about the US and a lot to celebrate and embrace. Every country has pros and cons, but I hope that this was an objective perspective on reverse culture shock in New York. But enjoy your 4th of July holiday if you are in the US today or if you're abroad and you'll be celebrating at your embassy or consulate. Thank you for spending time with me today. Always a pleasure and I look forward to seeing you back here again next week. 




 

 

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May Ling Lai

Author/ Advisor/ Traveler

May Ling Lai is a traveler and advisor to businesses and specialty projects. She helps top executives, founders, and board members achieve their company or organization’s vision. May Ling’s expertise spans strategy, innovation, financial services, investments, statistical research, systems development, staffing and culture development, entrepreneurism, and entrepreneurialism. She has worked with C-Suite executives at some of the largest firms to help them brainstorm, clarify strategy, and achieve their goals. One of the areas for which she has always been very focused is skills development and mentorship of young talent. In this regard, she recently released a course on Udemy related to Speed Reading and is slated to do a series of courses to help young and mid-career professionals get started, work through difficulties, and thrive.